I hit my head and now I see the stars

tell Sergio

2009-08-03T21:41:24Z

what is making love?

Making love is when you're not comparing anything to anyone; when you cannot remember your own name, and the only word which exists at that very moment is HIS/her name; that's making love. When you remember every curve every wrinkle, when you want to remember every breath and move and thrill. Remember that? You loved once. It was long time ago and it hurt when your love left you, alone, in Madrid. So you got that cynical, so cocky and so damn sure no one ever would hurt you again. So you started fucking around anyone that moved,trying to forget that you need love and devotion, commitment and pure almost innocent assurance. So making love is that - when you're waiting for someone not for fucking him/her, but it's something when you desire his/her smile and few words that he/she'd missed you too. That sleeping till morning by beloved side is more important than fucking till passing out. Remember that feeling? Maybe you're too young for that, maybe I'm too young for that too; maybe , but I feel it, that way. Your making love might be different, maybe you've never... maybe. Tell Sergio I know what making love is. Tell him he, deep in his heart, knows it too, but is too fucking scared, too embarrassed to admit it. When he was fragile.

Campeones again

2009-08-03T11:27:22Z

It was really tough night. Nick's pants stayed on his ass, I was surprisingly clean but I missed someone.

if I...

2009-07-15T17:48:18Z

If I say I cannot sit, would it be odd?

new kid on the block

2009-07-14T17:40:19Z

Joey Cole got his own private decent british lj.
Say hello to Coley ;)
http://joeyjournal.livejournal.com
;)

internet is for p0rn

2009-07-08T13:44:00Z

Sergio is killing me. Lady N is killing me! not mentioning Lola, that little slut.
I love internet. I love you guys.
But I definitely don't love english weather. Fuck.
Spain is waiting.

Lady N - here I come!

Boys can write

2009-06-21T00:37:33Z

Boys can write. Sergio and Iker can even slash. So do I

Title: reading
Pairing: Cesc/Iker
Rating: ummm R?
Disclaimer: fantasy is a powerful thing. So don't believe me.

Iker was bored. When he was reading it meant he was so fucking bored he could almost eat his own boots. But apparently he wasn't hungry so he was reading. He didn't want to show me what he was reading, but I didn't give a fuck about it. I was tired. I wanted to sleep and this silly sod was still reading.
"Get the fuck out of this room! go reading to the bathroom!" - I yelled, missing some silence and darkness.
"why are you so touchy, I'm just reading..."
"what the fuck are you reading? "Pride and prejudice" again? for fuck's sake, Darcy is gonna marry her, end of!"
"Fabregas I hate you"
"Dont tell me you didn't know..."
"I'm going out. Sergio needs some company..." - Iker knew how to piss me off
"oh c'mon... you could make up something better..." I looked at Iker and smirked
"what? you wanted to sleep"
"no, I didn't want you to read! you read all the time, talk to me at last! don't be such a jerk, we're talking only during the training sessions!"
"don't be so desperate, what, you miss your London boys?" - Iker smirked this time. God he was good
"You are a jerk. Go then." I wave my hand and covered my head with a duvet. Fuck you Iker Casillas - I murmured - or better fuck Sergio, if Nando lets you
Iker came back a couple an hours later. Drunk, joyful, dangerously smelling. I felt him. It was Ramos' fragrance, Pepe's cigars, and inevitably, Ikers own smell. I got up and went to the fridge to get some water.
"not sleeping? someone's reading in YOUR room again?" - Iker trying to speak slowly to be readable but apparently he drank too much
"not sleeping, waiting for you" - I quietly answered. I felt guilty, I was so stupid it hurt even me. Damn fool jealous of his passion which not included me. Damn damn fool
"why did you wait for me? " Iker asked slowly
"dunno.. I just.. can't sleep when you're not here..."
"dios, you're such a kid... so now you can sleep, I'm here" - I felt smile in Iker's words, and suddenly his presence behind my back
He touched my shoulder for a blink of an eye
"good night" - I said maybe to loud. Suddenly I felt unsure. And some strange hotness overwhelmed me. Sleep sleep, not looking at him sleep. I managed to crawl into my bed not looking at him. What a fucking relief.

In the morning room was empty again. Iker probably went to the gym, trying to get rid of the rest of booze out of his body. I felt a bit awkward when I saw that I drooled over my pillow. Jesus fucking Christ, I was a kid, worse, retarded kid with possible gay problem. I said gay?
When I looked into the mirror at the bathroom I saw my lips were swollen. Let's face it, you look awful. Damn. What have I done last night?

The evening was even the more awkward. Iker was reading again and I was pacing the room like a wolf in a cage.
"Fabregas, stop it." - Iker looked up at me for the billion time and closed his laptop
"Casillas, what the hell are you reading? tell me at last , will you?"
"Stuff. Nothing important. News, rumors, looking over the pics. Satisfied? What's your problem, Cesc?" - Iker wasn't annoyed, he was just curious of my reaction
"ooook.." I said, suddenly having no idea what to say. Damn, what now? he's not reading I got no reason to act like a weirdo, what what...
"Sit down. Here." - Iker patted the place by his side
"wwwhy..?" I gazed at him, a bit nervous, swallowing maybe too loud
"Cesc, c'mon, don't be silly I won't do anything... wrong"
"When you say that I'm afraid even more"
"Why?"
"when you say wrong it's suddenly right, and it's not a good sign..." - I sat carefull at the edge of Iker's bed and looked at him
"do you miss someone, Cesc? cause you're acting like that"
"I.. .I ..." - I stammered. Sergio would be in ecstasy seeing me like that
"Say it " - Iker touched my neck, almost checking out my pulse.
"you're not helping " - I whispered
"so what can I do? to help you? - Iker's face was dangerously close. Do not sweat do not sweat, swallow, do not sweat ,damn, I got no saliva, do not...
"Stop counting in your mind, I'm here, don't.. just don't..." - Iker's hand was still stroking my neck, and I couldn't look into his eyes
"Are you drunk, Iker?" - I asked almost carelessly
"you know I am not.. answer me, what is going on?" - not only Iker's hand was on my neck. Now he closed his lips
" Casillas, if you want to fuck just say it..." - I finally swallow, and regained my lost courage
"Do you?" - Iker smiled against my ear and I felt the tip of his tongue
I put my hand on Iker's throat and forced him to face me
"I do"

Fucking is always the same. It's awkward, it's messy and it's always wet. But it didn't matter when you could be fucked with the biggest cock in Spain [I know Ramos would disagree], when Iker fucking Casillas moaned your name, and between the moments of total blindness and burning pain you were aware of the fact that tomorrow's training session would be the biggest challenge for your ass, thighs and throat. yes, throat. To answer every fucking question what the hell we were doing and why Iker asked for a new bed to our room.
"what the hell were you doing?" Sergio was chuckling nervously
"you'll never guess, methinks " - I smirked
"Fucking?!" Sergio's eyes were like saucers
"Reading, Sergito. Told you you'd never guess"

two things

2009-06-19T00:15:55Z

let's say I'm fed up with those comments on my hair.

So first my hair. no, I wasn't drunk, no, it wasn't any bet and what's more - it has nothing to do with Iker's cock. Or ass. Whatever. Anyway. It was my idea, I like it and please kindly - stay away from it. Basta

The second - I don't like this kinky game Sergio and Iker are playing. Wanna true fic? Here it comes

Time: night
Pairing: ....
Disclaimer: not true, I'm not so stupid to tell you the whole truth

There is no rivalry. There is no need as such. Nando shakes his ass to draw Sergio's attention, Villa is playing bitchface as usual, Silva almost beg for his look, Xavi and Puyol are those semi-serious, and Xabi is tackling everyone, like he'd be back to England. So there is no rivalry. Only slight erotic tension when we're staying at the hotel for a couple of days and can't go out. So yes, we are drinking. And yes, we got our boys' games. And yes - we are jerking off. And no, I don't do it by the sink bowl, shower is better. And yes, Sergio is a horny bastard, and no, Villa doesn't have his face damaged and his bitchfacing isn't his only expression. And yes. I love Iker. Damn, I love him. Satisfied? Tomorrow I will write something proper, 'cause Sergio apparently discovered how to use keyboard insted of his cock. I'm afraid of the day he's gonna explore the ontd_football...

One day I came back to my room, it was some la Seleccion duty, I was rooming with Iker and I found him reading some site. Reading. not looking at some kinky stuff. It was ontd_football, another fangirling site, calling Iker 'San Iker", what, to be honest, is risky cause only Sergio may call him that way and not being punched. I pissed my pants reading the tags only. I'm sure you know that site, and that gave me an idea. Football slash is ok, but ontd... ;) so ok. I will write some fic. Iker needs some sex, this fucking celibacy he's playing isn't healthy. So cross your fingers and gimme me some time.
Hasta la próxima!

angry

2009-06-16T19:36:03Z

depressed.injured.
great

tell me the story, I cannot write like Iker, so you,, YOU tell me something. Anything.

Campeones!

2009-06-15T18:36:03Z

Or at least Nando. And Villa. And me. The opponent wasn't the most scaring creature in the world and yet it was a good fight. I loved that game. How about you ?

Time: evening
Pairing: me [someone kindly could explain it to me wtf is pairing ...]
Disclaimer: fuck me if it's true

Night after the game:

London, on your knees we're gonna kiss!! - that was Iker

Yes, please, come deep inside my throat, please please - it was Nando, squeaking, pretending it was me. ME? Fuck me, nino!

Spread your legs bitch, you were awesome! - that was Pepe! the most straight guy at la seleccion! Damn!

Fuck off queers! leave me alone! - it was me, slapping their hands embracing me, kissing my head, laughing. I was giggling like an idiot, drunk with happiness. Each goal is a celebration. Fest. Something special. We're gonna win this tournament!

Oh. And there was Sergio. Smirking, adjusting his too short hair, clearing his throat when everybody was gone.
Congrats, Cescito - he said - you deserved a prize.

all about Iker

2009-06-14T17:13:02Z

Regarding that Sergio isn't even able to run his own journal, and he considers me as a retarded drooling moron [now with a head injury], I will kindly omitt his presence in Cesc's world. At least for now. Oh damn, it isn't possible to ignore that gitano. The point is what is wrong - or right - with Iker.

Title: all about Iker
Pairing: wtf is pairing?!
Disclaimer: Not true...
Rating: putting here Sergio Ramos makes it dangerous so R a least
Warning: Written by me. So be careful

Iker is a very kind and thoughtful person. He's one of the kind, I know you know it but I need to say it loud. He is special. San Iker indeed. And that's why almost everyone gets crazy about him. First was Raul, then Guti. But when Becks had come to Real something strange happened. It was Iker who went mad. Sergio told me they were acting like puppies in love. It was disgusting. At first of course. But they really liked each other. And Iker was really hurt when David left. Sergio tried to comfort Iker, but according to Sergio the only entertainment was sex so he was barking at the wrong tree. Iker wanted something different. So when it appeared that Sergio closed to Javi Garcia I decided to comfort Iker using my imagination, not my body. Iker wasn't mad when he got known about women's fascination on male on male relationships. Yes, he knew women too well. He also knew the videos posted on You Tube, he read some fiction, which made him pissing his pants of laughing, literally. But when he read the first fic I showed him, real football slash fic, he was stunned. Amazed. Not mad. And it was he, not me, who looked at me with something more than interest. I'm not gay if you ask me, I just don't see any reason to set the borders for love and desire. But I don't fuck anything that moves, I'm not some gitano. But it was supposed to be about Iker. So Iker was lost and suddenly alone after David left. Raul and Guti tried their best, I wasn't all the time in Spain, so all I could do was calling him; still I do not know what happened between them. All I know that it changed Iker, he became more fragile, more serious, suddenly he became almost our father, or "Daddy" as Sergio loved to call him. But surprisingly when Sergio was saying "Daddy" it sounded like some fucking kinky pet name. I don't really want to know what he's thinking about when he's saying that... I gave Iker my interest, he gave me his care and concern. It was a fair deal. I gained a real friend, he felt some relief. Iker is saint. And I hope no one thinks different. And one day I will know what happened between him and David.

And one thing you must know - it's not that we, during la seleccion, are fucking each other. It's not true. For instance Iker doesn't fuck anyone. Pepe doesn't fuck anyone. Damn, even Villa doesn't. But looking at him and Silva it might look like something different... Ramos - or rather like those girls from Kickette call him - The Ramos - is fucking machine. I don't really want to know why he dumped Nereida fucking Gallardo, I don' t want to know HOW he removes that tape which Nando helps him to stick to his body, lower body, damn, I don't want don't want to even imagine WHERE he sticks it!!! And for sure I don't want to know the subject of possible chats with Ronaldo. It's not that I don't like Sergio. I adore him. And for sure there are days when I could kill him with cold blood. He's my fucking friend. Dios, I said it aloud?!

random thoughts

2009-06-14T00:07:48Z

Title: Random thoughts
Rating: None
Disclaimer: Tragically untrue. But funny

I need to express myself at last. God knows who reads it...

First I wanted to do it that way:
I'm Francesc, I'm 12 and I got constant cum between my fingers. Why is that? Discuss.
or
Somebody hit my head today. I saw stars and felt Iker's lips on mine. Is it normal?
or...
why Sergio is calling Nando a slut? pet name? slip of a tongue? english habit? Iker never called me that" *bitchfacing*

but I want to tell you the truth. And then you can dare me.